日本

you're strange and you're beautiful

There are few things more painful than rereading old posts.

(Major kudos to the people who struggled through some of my earliest posts on here, some of which I’ve had to actually remove because of their poor quality.)

Just putting a note up here to say that while a lot of my study has taken a backseat due to personal problems, I am mostly choosing to do a lot of it in my own time and privately. I think, like a lot of people, I got seduced into presuming my content and experience had some kind of default merit, which is definitely not the case. I also got schooled pretty hard from some very experienced people about what a monumental task I was undertaking with learning Japanese. And that I had enormously underestimated the amount of time and effort it would require to get anywhere close to my goals.

I don’t want to daunt anyone else, but wow. If you don’t have a vested interest that involves either traveling to Japan or immersing yourself in Japanese society in a local community, it is very difficult to maintain steady progress. I’m sure that for those who can afford continuing education in the US, group classes led in person by an instructor make all the difference. But alas I can’t justify so much money for an interest solely restricted to myself, and that ultimately has zero impact on my ability to generate (desperately needed) income.

However it’s been a great way to distinguish my passion for the culture and language, precisely because it has no interdependence on my own everyday culture, daily life or career. I pick up a used copy of Coin Locker Babies from the Strand stalls on 5th Ave because it interests me more than anything else. Despite the fact that there is no one in my life who I could talk to about it or even understands it’s significance, and it contributed nothing toward a grade or qualification. It’s something that exists against all odds in a vacuum. Perhaps it’s hilarious for me to suggest that that is somehow worth posting on the internet – but whatever. It’s the truth; and that’s not the case for most of what people will come across in their daily internet browsing.

So I thought a fitting post would be to say that for now, publicly documenting my journey through Japanese language and culture would be about as exciting as watching your computer defrag.

I live in hope that I get to the point where I’ve got unique content to offer, but for now I will contribute to the effort of limiting pointless internet aggregation.

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1 Comment»

  megwilhoite wrote @

Pulling rank here and telling you that you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself (teehee hard on) and don’t let the haters (schoolers) get you down. You never know how your shared journey is benefiting others!


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